How to impress a lady with strength
In caveman days, men were all about physical superiority. It was pretty much all we had going for us. But this natural advantage has become increasingly obsolete ever since we stopped making everything from boulders.
Regular jobs develop no muscles beyond the wrist, so men have had to make up activities like ‘working out’ just so we don’t forget how to lift heavy things; surrounding ourselves with encouraging men and mirrored walls in a communal arena of admiration (or gym).
It takes a lot to impress ladies with strength these days. It’s not enough to simply hold the couch aloft, and proclaim, “There!” as the ultimate display of your worth. Ladies need to know, that should they decide to discard their shoes after a night of feet-swelling drinking and dancing, you are there to courier them back to their bed, where you will make tireless love to them.
It is common between men to share how much weight they can lift, but when you flood a lady with imperial data, they’ll give only vacant stares. However, if you tell her that you lifted the equivalent of four thousand lipsticks, she won’t be able to stop herself from clapping.
Once the lady is suitably impressed, she will allow you to do jobs for her in exchange for sex. This is called a ‘relationship’, and can be very rewarding for both parties. Don’t expect to spend your days destroying trees to be rewarded by dinner and fillatio, though. The only regular test of your strength will be opening jars and carrying the shopping, and she hates it when you open all the jars without a good reason.
Now for shopping, carrying the food haul isn’t too demeaning, but when bags become brighter and pinker and say things like “Laura Ashley” or “Indisputably Girl’s Clothes”, then she has gone too far.
It is at this point that you need to remind her that Man Strength should only be used to carry Man Things. Using Man Strength on lady things is like when an adult gets stuck in the seat of a children’s swing. It looks weird.
Tags: bags, body building, impressive, lipstick, physical manly, shopping, strength, strong
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