In life, nature doesn’t always conform to what we think is normal; and without enforced gender based uniforms, people can deceive us.
I have heard tell of individuals known as “dykes” (not to be confused with the geographical features) a specific type of lesbian who choose to dress and act in a more masculine fashion to confuse their womenfolk into fancying their own kind. This helps bridge the gap to what I call ‘proper lesbianism’, depicted in classic films, such as “The Minge Binge” and “Huffing on her Muff 2”, which are very enjoyable, even to people who aren’t lesbians.
Take heed, nothing is what it seems. In fact, just the other day I mistook my mother for a leather couch.
We all know that gender confusion is a sensitive subject, and starting a conversation with, “So what are you?” is the height of social rudeness. You need to work with more subtlety. I like to start a conversation with, “I can’t even imagine what it’s like to have a period.” If they are man, they too will be struck by this quandary, whereas a lady will waste no time in assuring you just how horrible it is.
You may think a person’s name would be a clue, but how wrong you’d be. Even when you’re certain that Stacey could only mean girl, she hits you with her metaphorical penis.
If you have spent the evening unsuccessfully determining their sex, from smelling their hair to prodding their chest, and you don’t mind potentially making a worse first impression, then I have one sure-fire way (short of removing their trousers) that will get results.
If you are a man, (or want people to believe you are) sit next to the unidentified object, and then make a show of genital discomfort. Once they have taken notice, ask them whether they mind if you adjust yourself. Men will be completely sympathetic to your plight, and you may even find yourself a fast friend, but women, however modern, will be unable to disguise a curl of the lip.
It might just be a twitch at the corner of the mouth, or a full-faced sneer, but it will be there.
If you are lady, you probably won’t have to resort to such extreme measures, what with having intuition, and an ability to “take notice”. However, one gambit you have left is to invite them to the bathroom. If they are a lady, then this excuse for social occasion will seem all too normal. And if they’re a man? Well, you’re left with little choice but to gain further, carnal knowledge of them. Sorry about that.